I've had a lot of different challenging moments in my life but I think one that was most challenging was when I was eight years old and my older brother went to prison. I didn’t really know how to talk about it to my parents and I didn’t have friends I felt I could open up to about it. As challenging as that experience was, it also allowed me to grow in ways that I wouldn't have without that experience.
Today, I have a few really good close guy friends that I talk to and that I'll share anything with. It took me a long time to get to that point because growing up in the Midwest and as an athlete, I always felt it was never acceptable for me to express my feelings and thoughts. It was never acceptable for me to put my arm around my brother or a teammate without them saying: get off me, don't be lame, don't be a girl, etc.
If you can't put your arm around a brother or teammate or you can't say something sensitive or emotional without them making fun of you, it becomes harder and harder to feel like that's acceptable over time. Luckily, I’ve since found a couple of really close guy friends that I talk to on a daily basis and whom I can open up to.
A therapist once told me that you're only as sick as your secrets. The more I share the less sick I feel inside, emotionally, mentally, and physically. I think it's really important for all of us to find at least one male friend that we can have a conversation with about anything. It takes a lot of courage for a man to find another man to be able to talk to about these scary, intimidating topics. But that courage is going to give you more strength and more confidence when you find that person. So be willing to put yourself out there and have those hard conversations.
